A Nightmare of Parody
by Angel Seth Creations
Summary: DISCONTINUED DUE TO LACK OF RESPONSETakes place two years after AOD FFX2TR:AOD Crossover. First Yurilapa fic. Fisrt story. R&R. No flamers please. Short Chapters, be warned.
1. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

Lara Croft listened to the band playing on her hi-fi system while polishing her 9mm handguns. Suddenly an annoyingly loud voice cut through the song:

"_ATTENTION DWELLERS OF SURREY! THE POLICE HAVE MISPLACED A DANGEROUS CRIMINAL AT THE GATES OF THE LOCAL MUESEUM. THE DESCRIPTION OF THE CRIMINAL HAS JUST BEEN RELEASED. MALE, BROWN EYES, BROWN HAIR, GREEN PANTS AND A WHITE AND BLACK T-SHIRT! IF YOU SEE THE SUSPECT PLEASE CALL 555-9867"_

Lara zoomed to her cell phone and was just about to tap in a number when the phone rang in her hands startling her. She answered quickly when she saw the callers name flashing.

"Hey Paine. Did you hear the broadcast too?"

"Yeah… I guess this calls for a conference…right?"

"Yep! Time for a conference. Call Yunie and I will call Rikku. Meet me here at the mansion in 20. Bye"

"Bye"

_**45 minutes later…**_

Paine sat on Lara's couch with her sword propped up alongside the wall, while Lara stood pacing in front of a window looking for signs of Yuna and Rikku.

"Hey Lara, is something wrong? You seem edgy…"

"I think I recognize the description of the suspect."

Paine leaned forward excitement blazing in her red eyes.

"What? Really Lara? Man, who is he?"

At that moment, Winston came through the doorway.

"Ms.Croft, Ms.Rikku and High Summoner Braska's daughter Ms.Yuna are here." He said in his old hoarse voice.

"Thanks Win!" Lara yelled as she sprinted to the hallway. She walked back in dragging Rikku and Yuna by their arms.

"Well you're quite early." Paine smirked. Rikku stuck her tongue out at Paine and turned to Lara.

"Well Lara the reason we're late is-" Rikku started as Yuna interjected.

"Her dumb shower was broken so she came to my house to get ready only to realize that she forgot her thief dressphere. We then had to go back and got stuck in the traffic on the way to the harbor then we had to wait for the boat which was slower than usual and that, my dear Lara, was the account of our last 45 minutes." Yuna finished off in one breath. Lara coughed looking amused.

"Well let's get to it." Lara said leading the way to the attic where they had set up the Yurilapa Head Quarters.

When they had all settled in and Paine had told them about Lara recognizing the criminal, they all leaned in to hear the name.

"Well," Lara said slowly, "I figured it might be…" She cleared her throat.

"Kurtis Trent"


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

"WHAT!" They yelled in unison.

"Well yeah," Lara said sheepishly, "He's the closest to the description."

"But he's dead," Rikku said bluntly.

"Yes I know but I have this feeling…," said Lara "Maybe he's alive."

"Yes, I see your point Lara. There is a chance, though a very slim chance, that he might be alive…" Yuna spoke convincingly.

"And there's only one way to find out." Paine said thoughtfully.

"Yurilapa's got a new mission!" They said in unison punching their fists in the air.


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

_**The next day…**_

The girls bid goodbye to Winston as they left in Lara's Jeep. They had packed supplies enough for 2 weeks and they were heading to the local museum to find out more about Kurtis. The desk clerk was polite and gave them information (Even if it was a little of it!).

"Well the criminal came and broke in here and they say he was after an artifact of great power. It is said that the Black Alchemist had created two black stones in the shape of scarabs a long time ago and if they combined then this could be the end of the world. It was taken away from him by the Mage Council, but when the Council was destroyed, the scarabs were scattered apart. "

"Is the other half in the museum?" Lara asked in a low voice.

"No," she said, "It is- was in a museum located in Japan."

"Was?" asked Lara.

"Yes it was stolen at 4:00pm yesterday. It couldn't have been the same person though, because our half was taken at 2:00pm."

"Could we see the scarab?" asked Rikku

The clerk was about to answer when someone in the shadows called her.

"Sorry, the boss calls." She bid them farewell.


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

_**The police station…**_

"So Detective Myer, we heard about your, uh, mishap yesterday." Paine said mischievously. Rikku stifled a laugh while Yuna picked up where Paine left off.

"I'm sure you know us by now." She said quickly glaring at Rikku who was having trouble keeping in her giggles.

"Yes you're the girls who, how should I put it, steal our cases." He said coldly.

"I'm surprised at you detective. A police officer like you shouldn't be getting angry over such irrelevant matters." Said Lara looking at the officer with enjoyment as he squirmed with embarrassment.

"Well," He said, "I'm just protecting the H.Q's pride."

"Well whatever," remarked Paine, "we came here to do business, and business is what we're good at. Yuna please do the honors"

"We want information on your latest," said Yuna in her most menacing voice. Detective Myer looked totally creeped out as Yuna spoke. She could be very creepy at times.

"Well, um," Myer started, "I'm sure you heard the announcement on the radio. The media are going crazy at this case. Blurting out details and all. So he never got the piece, he sort of slipped and dropped it." Finally, the dam burst and Rikku laughed uncontrollably, with Paine smirking nearby. Even Yuna and Lara, the sensible two of the party, were looking amused. Lara cleared her throat and spoke.

"Well we're going out for the case details, so don't bother on this one. We've got it clocked." Rikku, who had controlled her laughter, wiped her eyes and added her bit.

"If we find out anything then the police will not take credit for this." After they left, the officer grinned and beckoned to a shadow in the corner.


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five **

"Hey Lara, do you have gum somewhere?" asked Rikku, as she scrabbled in various complicated compartments.

"Yeah in the S.C" Lara replied. Rikku looked thoroughly befuddled as Yuna pushed a button under her seat and yet another compartment appeared in front of her.

"S.C?" remarked Rikku. Paine, who had snagged the passenger seat, turned around and looked incredulously at Rikku.

"It means secluded compartment, smart alec," she said turning around and facing the windshield.

"Lara what are we going to do now? I mean we haven't got one shred of evidence at the moment." Paine continued.

"Well, first we find a place to bunk and then we brainstorm. And I need to get a meal now or I'm going to drop."

Yuna quickly offered to drive, but it seemed there was no need after Paine spotted a motel.

"Hey guys!" she yelled, "I think we've found our stop!" The party looked hesitantly at the sign pegged up, NO RETURN, it stated.


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

As Paine and Lara heaved the luggage out of the Jeep Rikku shivered at the sight of the building.

"Couldn't we sleep in the car and find a respectable bunkhouse in the morning?" Both Paine and Lara turned around and looked angrily at her.

"O.K forget I said anything," she said shakily. Yuna gave the trio a warning look.

"I don't want any fighting on this trip guys!" she remarked.

"It's not like we're on vacation Yuna," remarked Paine, "we're here strictly for business." Yuna heaved a large sigh and helped them with the bags.

"O.K guys, I'll go in and get accommodation. When I give you heads up, then bring those bags in!" yelled Lara as she approached the doorway.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

Lara went in boldly and as soon as she entered, she gasped at the sight before her. The walls of the motel were decorated with the excellent purple velvet and the ceilings were bejeweled with golden stars. The receptionist looked as overwhelming as the rest of the room. She had the most shocking hair and eyes. Her hair looked like it was spun out of untainted gold and her eyes looked like the most dazzling crystal clear emerald. Her skin was like porcelain. The desk she sat at held invaluable crystals and relics. Lara, still shell-shocked, walked over to the desk and asked the receptionist for accommodation. The receptionist smiled benevolently and stated a perfectly sensible price for a two bed roomed residence. The living area, she was told, had two couches to sleep on. Lara thankfully accepted her offer and proceeded to the dining area, where two lone guests sat munching on tremendous looking cuisine. Lara shivered with anticipation as she gave the heads up and waited to see the look on their faces.


End file.
